It’s impossible to look at every tiny change from fourth draft to finished film, but here are a few notable differences:
Pages one and two describe Marty in the classroom of his High School, being a nuisance. There’s nothing endearing about this “Ferris Bueller-type” Marty of the fourth draft, and this scene was later cut from the script.
The clocks which appear at the beginning of the finished film, are in fact not seen until page 11 of the fourth draft. In a scene which spans pages 11-14, Marty and Doc meet in Doc’s RV on a downtown street. The scripted scene has Marty and Doc chatting face to face about their upcoming rendezvous at Twin Pines Mall. In the film, this information is conveyed through a phone call. Much better that way: it shrouds “Doc” in mystery and we don’t meet him until the much anticipated test of the time machine in the mall’s parking lot. The RV was eliminated in subsequent drafts in favor of the garage. And an eye-rolling joke from Marty in the script, “What’s Up, Doc?”, thankfully, never made it into the film.
Also, in this scene of the script, Doc grabs the clock tower flyer from Marty’s hand and writes down the time and place for their rendezvous. In the film, the flyer is grabbed by Marty’s girlfriend Jennifer, so she can write down her phone number (Doc is not present). This is a doubly good improvement over the fourth draft: not only does this moment solidify the importance of Marty’s relationship with Jennifer, and thus motivate him to get back to the future, it also provides a reason why he would carry the flyer with him and show it to Doc later in the film.
Much of the dialogue from the first few pages of the fourth draft has been cut, retooled, and moved around. For example: in the script’s first four pages, Marty tries to set off the school fire alarm in an attempt to escape detention so he can make it to his band’s audition. But Marty is caught, and the High School principal, Strickland, chews out Marty in his office:
STRICKLAND:
You’ve got a real attitude problem, you know that? You’re a slacker, McFly. You’ve got aptitude, but
you don’t apply yourself. You remind me of your father. He was a slacker too.
In the film, this exchange has been moved to the hallway, after Strickland catches Marty and Jennifer walking to school late. Get it? LATE. Another hint at the importance of TIME in this film. Further, the film adds this exchange:
STRICKLAND:
No McFly ever amounted to anything in the history of Hill Valley!
MARTY
Yeah well history is gonna change.
A perfect exchange that makes perfect sense in context, and also foreshadows the tremendous changes in history that will unfold in this story.
The changes from script to screen are significant, and I could site many more.
But the point I am trying to make is that rewriting is a constant state of experimentation: moving scenes around, cutting and improving dialogue, weaving in symbolism and foreshadowing, making the script tighter, leaner, and constantly forward-moving.
Look at whatever script you are working on and hack away.
Pages one and two describe Marty in the classroom of his High School, being a nuisance. There’s nothing endearing about this “Ferris Bueller-type” Marty of the fourth draft, and this scene was later cut from the script.
The clocks which appear at the beginning of the finished film, are in fact not seen until page 11 of the fourth draft. In a scene which spans pages 11-14, Marty and Doc meet in Doc’s RV on a downtown street. The scripted scene has Marty and Doc chatting face to face about their upcoming rendezvous at Twin Pines Mall. In the film, this information is conveyed through a phone call. Much better that way: it shrouds “Doc” in mystery and we don’t meet him until the much anticipated test of the time machine in the mall’s parking lot. The RV was eliminated in subsequent drafts in favor of the garage. And an eye-rolling joke from Marty in the script, “What’s Up, Doc?”, thankfully, never made it into the film.
Also, in this scene of the script, Doc grabs the clock tower flyer from Marty’s hand and writes down the time and place for their rendezvous. In the film, the flyer is grabbed by Marty’s girlfriend Jennifer, so she can write down her phone number (Doc is not present). This is a doubly good improvement over the fourth draft: not only does this moment solidify the importance of Marty’s relationship with Jennifer, and thus motivate him to get back to the future, it also provides a reason why he would carry the flyer with him and show it to Doc later in the film.
Much of the dialogue from the first few pages of the fourth draft has been cut, retooled, and moved around. For example: in the script’s first four pages, Marty tries to set off the school fire alarm in an attempt to escape detention so he can make it to his band’s audition. But Marty is caught, and the High School principal, Strickland, chews out Marty in his office:
STRICKLAND:
You’ve got a real attitude problem, you know that? You’re a slacker, McFly. You’ve got aptitude, but
you don’t apply yourself. You remind me of your father. He was a slacker too.
In the film, this exchange has been moved to the hallway, after Strickland catches Marty and Jennifer walking to school late. Get it? LATE. Another hint at the importance of TIME in this film. Further, the film adds this exchange:
STRICKLAND:
No McFly ever amounted to anything in the history of Hill Valley!
MARTY
Yeah well history is gonna change.
A perfect exchange that makes perfect sense in context, and also foreshadows the tremendous changes in history that will unfold in this story.
The changes from script to screen are significant, and I could site many more.
But the point I am trying to make is that rewriting is a constant state of experimentation: moving scenes around, cutting and improving dialogue, weaving in symbolism and foreshadowing, making the script tighter, leaner, and constantly forward-moving.
Look at whatever script you are working on and hack away.
Recent Comments